Recently, I came across a couple websites (Justin Taylor’s Blog on Porndemic <-Love the Title & Sam Isaacson) that had some additional resources while I haven’t read many of them, I wanted to share them with you.

• R. Albert Mohler Jr., “The Seduction of Pornography and the Integrity of Christian Marriage” (talk to college students: PDF, MP3)
• David Powlison, “Breaking Pornography Addiction” (article: part 1, part 2)
• David Powlison, Making All Things New: Restoring Pure Joy to the Sexually Broken (conference talk: audio, video, and chapter)
• John Piper, Battling the Unbelief of Lust (sermon in manuscript, audio)
• John Piper, A.N.T.H.E.M: Strategies for Fighting Sexual Lust (article)
• Mark Driscoll, Porn-Again Christian (free eBook)
• Tim Challies, Sexual Detox: A Guide for the Single Guy (free eBook)
• Tim Challies, Sexual Detox: A Guide for the Married Guy (free eBook)
• Rick Holland, A Biblical Strategy for Fighting Lust (conference talk; see related manuscript)
• Thabiti Anyabwile on gypsy moths which is an overview of SalvoMag’s article Slave Master by Donald Hilton
• Other Articles on Salvo Magazine’s Site include Blindsided Kids and Porn in the USA

Related posts:

1. Resources
2. Romans 6 Series: Part 6, What about Dying to Sin?

This was originally written as a guest post for PorntoPurity.com.

Denial. No! What is it, really? I hear it thrown around constantly, and you probably do too. If you are anything like me, when you hear something like the first step that says, “We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable,” we think, “Duh! I’m here aren’t I!? Why else would I be here?” And we think, “I have already got this first step done!” When I first really entered recovery, my sponsor would constantly tell me that I was still in denial, and like any good addict, I denied it! I denied it because I had no idea what he was talking about. And frankly, he couldn’t articulate why he thought I was in denial. He would simply say, “It just sounds like you are still in denial.” And I would ask, “Well, what makes you say that?” And he could never answer me…well, at least to my satisfaction because I was intellectualizing the conversation. So I brushed it off.

However, when I began therapy with my counselor, he walked me through Patrick Carnes’s 14 Types of Denial asking me which ones that I did. Then I realized, yes, in some cases, probably more than I’d like to admit, I was in denial. And immediately I wanted to deny it! And the thing about the 12 steps is that it is not once and done. It is a process that is continuous, and I must continually choose to step out of denial in my thinking and definitely any time I do something wrong.

So I wanted to share these 14 with you guys. While some of these may overlap with one another, it helps to have these 14 categories to really know what denial really is. While most of us don’t use all twelve, try to pick out your top 3-4. The twelve taken from Facing the Shadow (adapted by me) are:

1. Global Thinking: This is attempting to justify something with absolute terms like “always” or “never” or “whatsoever.” It also can be something along the lines of “every guy does this.”
2. Rationalization: This is justifying unacceptable behavior saying things like “I don’t have a problem, I’m just sexually liberated,” or “You’re crazy,” or “I can go months without this, so I don’t have a problem.” As Rick Warren states, “Rationalize is telling yourself Rational Lies” (Twitter).
3. Minimizing: This is trying to make behavior or consequences seem smaller or less important than they are saying things like “only a little,” or “only once in a while,” or “it’s no big deal,” or simply telling the story in a better light than it really should be.
4. Comparison: This is shifting focus to someone else to justify behaviors such as “I’m not as bad as…”
5. Uniqueness: This is thinking you are different or special saying things like “My situation is different,” or “I was hurt more,” or “That’s fine for you, but I’m too busy.” This one can also be considered Entitlement.
6. Distraction (Carnes, Avoiding by creating an uproar or distraction): This is being a clown and getting everyone laughing, having angry outbursts meant to frighten or intimidate others, threats and posturing, and doing shocking behavior that may even be sexual. This can be when we simply blow up upon being confronted hoping that our explosion will draw attention rather than the actual issue.
7. Avoiding by Omission: This is trying to change the subject, ignore the subject, or manipulate the conversation to avoid talking about something. It is also leaving out important bits of information like the fact that the lover is underage, or the person is a close friend of your spouse, or revealing enough information while keeping back the most “dangerous” information that will get you in more trouble.
8. Blaming: This is when you shift blame and responsibility from yourself to another person, and many times this is done unconsciously since in the depth of our being we really don’t want to be held responsible for something. I call this the Adam Syndrome as this is what Adam did in the Garden (Genesis 3) by wrongly blaming Eve for his rebellion. This includes, “Well, you would cruise all night, too, if you had my job,” or “If my spouse weren’t so cold…” or “I can’t help it, the baby cries day and night and makes me nervous.”
9. Intellectualizing: This is avoiding feelings and responsibility by thinking or by asking why. This person tries to explain everything getting lost in detail, rabbit trails, and/or storytelling. This often includes pretending superior intellect and using intelligence as a weapon. If you watch the TV Show Bones, Dr. Temprance Brennan does this often.
10. Victim Mentality (Carnes, Hopelessness/Helplessness): This is where a person says, “I’m a victim,” or “I can’t help it,” or “There is nothing I can do to get better,” or “I’m the worst.”
11. Manipulative Behavior: This usually involves some distortion of reality including the use of power, lies, secrets, or guilt to exploit others.
12. Compartmentalizing: This is something that almost every addict does (I actually want to say EVERY but will hold back). This is separating your life into compartments in which you do things that you keep separate from other parts of your life. This is like a Jackel and Hyde or a separation of Public and Private life to the point where it is unhealthy driven by thoughts of “If they only knew, then…”
13. Crazymaking: This occurs when we are confronted by others who DO have a correct perception…we simply tell them that they are totally wrong. We act indignantly toward them attempting to make them feel crazy by simply positing that they cannot trust their own perceptions.
14. Seduction: This is the use of charm, humor, good looks, or helpfulness to gain sexual access and cover up insincerity.

For me, while I struggle with many of these denial types (rationalizing, minimizing, uniqueness, distraction, omission, blaming, intellectualizing, compartmentalizing) and probably have done them all at one point or another, my Big Three are Minimizing, Omission, and Intellectualizing. Well, at least that’s what I think they are. It is a good practice to take this list and mark the ones that you think you do, and confirming it with your spouse and/or your sponsor and/or someone close to you that knows most of the story and has lived through things with you. The goal is to identify which ones we tend towards so when we are facing our secrets and/or our problems, we can identify some of these behaviors in order to face the truth at all costs and comfort and live out the Stockdale Paradox.

What are yours?

Related posts:

1. The Addiction Cycle for Pornography or Sex Addiction
2. Denial
3. The Addiction Noose as a way of Looking at the Addictive Cycle

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Patrick Carnes describes the addiction cycle as:

1. Preoccupation-the trance or mood wherein the addicts’ minds are completely engrossed with thoughts of sex. This mental state creates an obsessive search for sexual stimulation.
2. Ritualization-the addicts’ own special routines which lead up to the sexual behavior. The ritual intensifies the preoccupation, adding arousal and excitement.
3. Compulsive Sexual Behavior-the actual sexual act, which is the end goal of the preoccupation and ritualization. Sexual addicts are unable to control or stop this behavior.
4. Despair-the feeling of utter hopelessness addicts have about their behavior and their powerlessness.

First, the thought or fantasy enters the addicts mind through some sort of trigger based on their arousal template (or what excites them). This could be in the form of an image that suddenly appeared in one’s mind or a smell or a sound or a whole slew of various triggers. This is where the battle must take place (2 Cor 10:5). From here, from this thought comes an obsessive preoccupation on the fantasy or sexual thought. Here the battle is much, much tougher yet beatable. The felt, immediate cost will be greater.

Then comes the person’s ritual. In the ritualization stage, according to Carnes, the battle is already lost. However, I must disagree. I believe that the Lord does provide a way out (1 Cor 10:13). Many times the ritualization part can look a lot like the sexual compulsive stage. This stage This can vary from a wide variety of events from turning on the computer, going to a certain “safe” site that allows one to get closer, etc. In the ritualization process, the addict forms his excuses, rationalizations, or returns to a state of denial. This stage can happen over a course of minutes and even seconds to a week or sometimes a month.

The ritualization leads to the addict sexually acting out in their sexual compulsive behavior. This is the culmination of the thought, the preoccupation, and the ritualization process.

After the acting out, the addict feels guilt or shame for the behavior.  “How could I do this again??” It is important to note that the addict feels both shame and guilt, and it is important to note the differences between the two:

Guilt says I’ve done something wrong; shame says there is something wrong with me. Guilt says I’ve made a mistake; shame says I am a mistake. Guilt says what did was not good; shame says I am no good. Bradshaw (1988).

While guilt or even sorrow can be constructive and lead to recovery, shame can be overwhelming and can lead to despair or hopelessness. And this emotional flood can be rather overwhelming and depressing. It demands attention and this leads the addict back to preoccupation.

From the Sexual Addiction Recovery Resources, they picture the addiction cycle as:

Related posts:

1. The Addiction Noose as a way of Looking at the Addictive Cycle
2. What is Sex Addiction?
3. 14 Types of Denial in Pornography and/or Sex Addiction

Ted Roberts, in Pure Desire, refers to The Addictive Cycle as the Addictive Noose.

The Noose of Sexual Addiction consists of four issues:

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1. The Addictive Root
2. The Addictive Mindset
3. The Addictive Lifestyle
4. The Addictive Cloak

So the addiction is not just about the person’s behavior/lifestyle, but about a wide variety of other issues. As Ted Roberts says, “It is about his past, the way he thinks and the defense mechanisms he has developed to keep from being exposed. Sexual Addiction isn’t ultimately about sex; it is about the way the person deals with life!” (Pure Desire, 49). And as many therapist say, “A sex addict knows nothing about sex because they know nothing about intimacy.”

Addiction has three interlocking elements:

1. The problem has become unmanageable. The person has repeatedly and unsuccessfully tried to stop the behavior in a number of ways. Many take a binge/purge approach where they binge for a day, week, or even a month, and then they purge and that is also cyclical.
2. Their behavior is destructive to them in some form. The first consequence is numbness, emotional numbness. SA is medicating against some sort of pain or emotional reality in his life.
3. There is increased intensity of the activity over a period of time. The sexual high of the past isn’t enough so the “dosage” has to increase thus altering the brain chemistry.

The Addictive Mindset consists of a variety of destructive core concepts or also known as Core Beliefs (Patrick Carnes) including thoughts or worthlessness, unlovability, loneliness, and pleasure centric thoughts.

1. “I am basically a bad, unworthy person.” Jeff Fisher at PorntoPurity.com has a great post on this here.
2. “No one would love me as I am.” (Similar to “If they knew me, then they wouldn’t like me.”) Jeff Fisher at PorntoPurity.com has a great post on this here
3. “My needs are never going to be met if I have to depend on others.” Jeff Fisher at PorntoPurity.com has a great post on this here
4. “Sex is my most important need.” Jeff Fisher at PorntoPurity.com has a great post on this here

The Addictive Lifestyle consists of a cycle that begins with Fantasy which leads to ritual, which leads to secrecy, which leads to further shame and guilt.

The Addictive Cloak is in denial, delusion and blame.

The Addictive Root has three basic drivers: (1) Family Dysfunction; (2) Personal Trauma; and (3) Addictive Society. And this root is a complex root system, and for people with multiple issues or even addictions this root system is overlapped with another complex root system that must carefully be revealed, studied, and eventually dug-up, repaired or even replaced.

Related posts:

1. Why Your Marriage May Never Find Deep Healing from Sexual Addiction
2. The Addiction Cycle for Pornography or Sex Addiction
3. 14 Types of Denial in Pornography and/or Sex Addiction

What is the Stockdale Paradox? The Stockdale Paradox is best described in Jim Collins’s book Good to Great. In it, he writes (83-87): The Stockdale Paradox is named after…

Admiral Jim Stockdale who was the highest ranking US military officer in the “Hanoi Hilton” prison-of-war camp during the height of the Vietnam War. Tortured over twenty times during his eight-year imprisonment from 1965-1973, Stockdale lived out the war without any prisoner’s rights, no set release date, certainty as to whether he would even survive to see his family again. He shouldered the burden of command, doing everything he could to create the conditions that would increase the number of prisoners who would survive unbroken, while fighting an internal war against his captors and their attempts to use the prisoners for propaganda…[In Collins' preparation of meeting with Stockdale, he read In Love and War]

As I moved through the book, I found myself getting depressed. It just seemed so bleak–the uncertainty of his fate, the brutality of his captors and so forth. And then it dawned on me: “Here I am sitting in my warm and comfortable office, looking out over the beautiful Stanford campus on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. I’m getting depressed reading this, and I know the end of the story! I know that he gets out, reunites with his family, becomes a national hero, and gets to spend the later years of his life studying philosophy on the same beautiful campus. If it feels depressing for me, how on earth did he deal with it when he was actually there and did not know the end of the story?”

“I never lost faith in the end of the story,” he said when I asked him, “I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.”

I didn’t say anything for many minutes, and we continued the slow walk toward the faculty club, Stockdale limping and arc-swinging his stiff lef that enever fully recovered from repeated torture. Finally after about a hundred meters of silence, I asked, “Who didn’t make it out?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” he said, “The optimists.”

“The optimists? I don’t understand,” I said, now completely confused, given what he’d said a hundred meters earlier.

“The optimists. Oh, they were the ones who said ‘we’re going to be out by Christmas’. And, Christmas would come and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. Then they died of a broken heart.”

Another long pause, and more walking. Then he turned to me and said, “This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end – which you can never afford to lose – with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

That conversation with Admiral Stockdale stayed with me, and in fact had a profound influence on my own development. Life is unfair–sometimes to our advantage, sometimes to our disadvantage. We will all experience disappointments and crushing events somewhere along the way, setbacks…What separates people, Stockdale taught me, is not the presence or absence of difficulty, but how they deal with the inevitable difficulties of life.

The Stockdale Paradox simply is maintaining unwavering faith that you can and will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties, AND at the same time have the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be.

And so it is with recovery. We must do two things:

1. Maintain hope and unwavering faith that I can and I will prevail in the end, and
2. Confront the brutal facts and effects of my current reality.

Hope. Reality. In my own recovery, it is extremely difficult for me to do both. Typically in the past, I either have one or the other, but primarily one and that being a naive, faint hope. I have only been an Optimist, as Stockdale put it, and I have died again and again and again. I am not surviving whatsoever. I tend to shy away from confronting the “brutal facts” of my current reality. And that’s what they are: brutal. My reality is often exposed by my wife at times I don’t find convenient…then again, no time is convenient! Basically, I don’t want to face my reality. I don’t really want to face them for when I do, I am not sure if I can handle it. Living in the world of ignorance, denial, and un-reality is bliss, but only bliss for me in a very limited sense. It is anything but bliss and serenity for my family. Instead my selfish bliss becomes a raging storm for those around me. And I sit in the midst of the storm believing that I am not getting wet and that it will not have any affect on me whatsoever.

As the Calvin (little boy) and Hobbes (tiger) comic goes, Calvin says something like, “If I see/hear something I don’t like, I think I’m going to ignore it.” And Hobbes says, “Don’t you think that’s kind of irresponsible.” And Calvin says, “Wow, isn’t it a nice day?”

That is me in a comic strip. I ignore things I don’t like instead of confronting them and facing them head on. I am the big pink elephant in the room, and I am perfectly happy so as long as no one talks about me, talks to me about me, or brings a mirror in the room.

Scot Peck, in the Road Less Traveled, says:

We must always hold truth, as best we can determine it, to be more important, more vital to our self-interest, than our comfort. Conversely, we must always consider our personal discomfort relatively unimportant and, indeed, even welcome it in the service of the search for truth. Mental health is the on-going process of dedication to reality at all costs.

This is extremely difficult. As an addict, I have lied again and again, over and over, to myself, to my wife, to all my friends, and on and on. I have lived a lie masquerading as something that I am not really putting my family in situations where they must also masquerade in order to “protect” me. So to face this truth will be extremely difficult; however, it is one that I must do.

John 8:32 says, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” For so long I wanted to be free without knowing the truth, without anyone else knowing the truth, and if I could help it, without God knowing the truth. And part of knowing the truth is obeying Jesus Christ, for John 8:31 says, “If you continue to follow my teaching, you are really my disciples.” This is consistent with much of 1 John which speaks about abiding in Christ and obeying Jesus’ commands. However, for me, the truth is that I haven’t been following Jesus’ teachings in regards to sexual immorality. The truth is that I haven’t been obeying Jesus Christ with my tongue, lying constantly and rather consistently. The truth, my reality is that I have created a wake that is ugly, devastating and brutal for all parties involved.

The truth and my true reality is not gray regardless how gray I would like things to be. Instead, the truth is black and white for that is the nature of truth. My reality is not gray. It is black and white. My pornography addiction has created a gray environment where something that should be seen as sin (as black) is seen as gray or not so bad because of my rationalizations and failed moral compass (if I can even say that I have one).

Related posts:

1. 14 Types of Denial in Pornography and/or Sex Addiction
2. Two Necessary Ingredients for Recovery from Pornography Addiction
3. Computers and Pornography: RAM & Bandwidth

Today I found a neat webcast today that is like a mini-web course presented by Bil Mooney-McCoy.  In this webcast, he covers the following:

• His own personal journey
• Overview of the Porn/Adult Industry
• Definition of Sin: Anything at all that diminishes my capacity to love God and His people.
• 2 Basic Human Desires & how pornography tries to fulfill those desires.
• 7 Phases of Recovery
  1. Recognition
  2. Withdrawal
  3. Pink Cloud (2nd Wind)
  4. Resentment Volcano
  5. Premature Checkout
  6. Commitment to Recovery
  7. Complacency Daze
• Resistance Academy with practical and basic structures or foundations that everyone in recovery needs.
• Routine Maintenance: ongoing habits for a new lifestyle.
• Accountability Information: Qualifications, Structures, Questions, & Software
• Support Group
• and more!

Take some time and check it out and let me know what you think!

No related posts.

I guess I have to turn my back on you now. You snuck into my life while I was still young and I let you stay for way too long. You have been masquerading as a friend, companion and even a healer of sorts for many years. Sometimes I used you as a fill in for my other addictions, but when I felt very desperate, I gave you the lead role as my primary addiction.

You failed miserably at everything I thought you offered; especially in the days when I actually trusted that you had some value as my friend. Back then, although you totally disgusted me, you were able to at least temporarily make me forget my problems. But you never eradicated my pain.

For so long I thought that I could balance the damage you caused to my life against the benefits of escape. But in time, I finally realized that there were no benefits and that your influence was more dangerous than my other addictions could ever be. Because you were able to masquerade as a normal impulse–and even a healthy release in times of great agitation, worry and stress–you seemed and acted normal. So I simply thought that I would know if I had too much of you for my own good.

Well, I did not know it and in time you became worse then the problems I was trying to escape. You would not leave and where was I to go to get rid of you?

Finally, just today I realized that I could no longer entertain you. Nor can I provide you with even the smallest doorway into my life by rationalizing that if a little bit sneaks in, it is OK. This was, and is, one of your greatest tricks: getting me to believe that small doses of you were harmless and could not harm me.

But now I see that that is like saying arsenic is not dangerous in small amounts. You are dangerous in any amount and the door is now closed. I know you will keep knocking because I have given you too much power and too much knowledge of how my mind works. However, now I will be giving you something way more than information when you knock on the door. Now you will be answered by the Holy Spirit, and you will never pass through him unless I let my faith grow weak.

So this is it. We are parting company. Should you happen to slip through and wind up in my doorway, you will be met by a person who no longer needs you; one who has found the healing and strength to live life without the medication you offered.

Consequently, your services are no longer needed or desired.

(originally obtained from here, Marsha Means’ website @wivesofaddicts)

Related posts:

1. Dearest Addiction, a Letter to My Porn Addiction
2. A Description of a Christian Porn Addicts
3. Neat Poem for Wives of Sex/Porn Addicts

Noam Chomsky appeared in a prominent Adult Magazine and was seen as an endorsement. However, when he was interviewed by them, they did not reveal which magazine they represented but only revealed who they interviewed. They also did not send him a transcript of the interview, which is standard procedure.

When Chomsky was asked, “What is your view of pornography?”, he responded, “It is humiliation and the degredation of women. It’s disgrace activity. I don’t want to be associated with it…women are degraded as vulgar sex objects. It’s not what human beings are.”

When Chomsky was asked, “But didn’t porn performers choose to do the job and get paid?”, he responded, “The fact that people agreed to it and are paid is about as convincing as the fact that we should be in favor of sweatshops in China where women are locked in a factory and work 15 hours a day. Then the factory burns down and they all die. Yes they were paid and consented, but doesn’t make me in favor of it. So that argument we can’t even talk about it. As to the fact that it is some people’s erotica. That’s their problem; it doesn’t mean I have to contribute to it. If they get enjoyment out of humiliation of women, they have a problem. It’s nothing I want to contribute to it.”

No related posts.

This is part of 2 postings that I cam across on Twitter from @Tams6979 on her blog (here and here), and with Tamara McCarthy’s permission I have reproduced much of what she said and she deserves full credit for this post.

Dr. Stuart Brody, PhD, is the author of over 140 scholarly publications and is a Full Professor of Psychology at the University of the West of Scotland (Paisley). Not only does he conduct research in this area, he frequently does so.

In a 2006 study he conducted, The post-orgasmic prolactin increase following intercourse is greater than following masturbation and suggests greater satiety (Biological Psychology, 71, 312-315.), he drew blood from participants (mostly grad students) via an intravenous canula inserted into their bronchial vein every 10 minutes while they either masturbated or had penile-vaginal intercourse. He and his colleagues discovered that after orgasm from sexual intercourse, the increase in blood prolactin levels is 400% higher in both sexes compared with after orgasm from masturbation.

“For both sexes, penile–vaginal intercourse produced a substantially greater (adjusted for response to control conditions, the increase was about five times as great) post-orgasmic prolactin increase than did masturbation.

Related posts:

1. Porn Addiction: The New Drug?
2. Cost #3: Loss of sleep
3. #3: Loss of sleep

Dr. Stefanie Carnes at RecoveryZone.com is heading up a survey, called the Partner Sexuality Survey (PSS), to advance the research for the spouses of sex addicts to further understand how to help the spouse of the sex addict.

Anyone who has been involved in a relationship with a sex addict is eligible to take this survey, including males, females, heterosexual or homosexual partners, and those that are still involved in a relationship with the addict, and those that have left the relationship.

This survey is part of a research study being conducted by Dr. Stefanie Carnes. The purpose of the study is to learn about how sexual addiction impacts the sexuality of the partner of the sex addict, with the long term goal of helping partners and couples recover.

There are several benefits you may experience as a result of your participation in this study. The first benefit is knowing you are advancing research in the field of sex addiction. The second is that you may experience some insights about how your sexuality has been impacted by the addiction. And finally, at the end of the survey, you will receive a brief report, free of charge, that outlines areas of your sexuality that may have been impacted by the addiction. The only risk associated with taking this survey is that it may bring up some emotions relating to your experience in this relationship. If this should occur, please seek the guidance of a qualified therapist. For a list of certified sex addiction therapists please visit www.iitap.com.

TAKE THE SURVEY

Related posts:

1. Guidelines to Find the Right Accountability Partner
2. Cost #2: Loss of fellowship with your spouse
3. Neat Poem for Wives of Sex/Porn Addicts

Patrick Carnes has an assessment on SexHelp.com called the Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST), which also appears at RecoveryZone.com, that may help with this. It consists of 45 questions and will calculate your score for you and place you on the graph below.

For example:

Patrick Carnes also has a risk assessment called SARA. RecoveryZone writes:

The Sexual Addiction Risk Assessment has been developed to help you better understand your behaviors. The assessment consists of 88 questions, which will take approximately 25 minutes to finish. You can then print out your results immediately. You will be provided with a detailed, personalized 23-page report to help you determine the best course of action for you.

• Your personal profile will reveal common behaviors and risks associated with your particular type of addiction.
• You will have valuable information on how to find treatment centers, therapists, and twelve-step groups.
• You will be able to compare your SAST score with those who went into outpatient treatment in their communities and those who went to residential facilities.
• You see your personal profile and will be able to compare it to other sex addicts, which will help you determine the best course of treatment.
• You will be able to evaluate your responses to the 60 most common problem behaviors in 12 categories with the goal of helping you understand some of the risks associated with these behaviors.

We strongly urge that diagnosis and treatment be done with a trained professional. This assessment is designed to help you in seeking further help.

Once in therapy, your therapist may administer a series of instruments which can provide a depth and accuracy not possible in a brief self-assessment like this one.

However, they highly encourage one to take the free SAST first (here or here). For convenience sake, here are the questions below.

Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST)
Answer YES or NO to the following
1. Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?
2. Did your parents have trouble with sexual behavior?
3. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?
4. Do you feel that your sexual behavior is not normal?
5. Do you ever feel bad about your sexual behavior?
6. Has your sexual behavior ever created problems for you and your family?
7. Have you ever sought help for sexual behavior you did not like?
8. Has anyone been hurt emotionally because of your sexual behavior?
9. Are any of your sexual activities against the law?
10. Have you made efforts to quit a type of sexual activity and failed?
11. Do you hide some of your sexual behaviors from others?
12. Have you attempted to stop some parts of your sexual activity?
13. Have you felt degraded by your sexual behaviors?
14. When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?
15. Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire?
16.  Have important parts of your life (such as job, family, friends, leisure activities) been neglected because you were spending too much time on sex?
17. Do you ever think your sexual desire is stronger than you are?
18. Is sex almost all you think about?
19. Has sex (or romantic fantasies) been a way for you to escape your problems?
20. Has sex become the most important thing in your life?
21. Are you in crisis over sexual matters?
22. Has the Internet created sexual problems for you?
23. Do you spend too much time online for sexual purposes?
24.  Have you purchased services online for erotic purposes (sites for dating, pornography, fantasy and friend finder)?
25. Have you used the Internet to make romantic or erotic connections with people online?
26. Have people in your life been upset about your sexual activities online?
27. Have you attempted to stop your online sexual behaviors?
28.  Have you subscribed to or regularly purchased or rented sexually explicit materials (magazines, videos, books or online pornography)?
29. Have you been sexual with minors?
30.  Have you spent considerable time and money on strip clubs, adult bookstores and movie houses?
31. Have you engaged prostitutes and escorts to satisfy your sexual needs?
32. Have you spent considerable time surfing pornography online?
33.  Have you used magazines, videos or online pornography even when there was considerable risk of being caught by family members who would be upset by your behavior?
34. Have you regularly purchased romantic novels or sexually explicit magazines?
35. Have stayed in romantic relationships after they became emotionally or physically abusive?
36. Have you traded sex for money or gifts?
37. Have you maintained multiple romantic or sexual relationships at the same time?
38. After sexually acting out, do you sometimes refrain from all sex for a significant period?
39. Have you regularly engaged in sadomasochistic behavior?
40. Do you visit sexual bath-houses, sex clubs or adult video/bookstores as part of your regular sexual activity?
41. Have you engaged in unsafe or “risky” sex even though you knew it could cause you harm?
42. Have you cruised public restrooms, rest areas or parks looking for sex with strangers?
43.  Do you believe casual or anonymous sex has kept you from having more long-term intimate relationships?
44. Has your sexual behavior put you at risk for arrest for lewd conduct or public indecency?
45. Have you been paid for sex?

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1. Addicted? The 3 C's of Addiction
2. How Do I Know If I Am Addicted to Pornography?
3. What is Sex Addiction?