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Costs of Pornography

The costs of engaging in pornography can be outrageous. So there is a massive impact of pornography on society, especially with its impact on marriage. I personally have compiled about 37 negative consequences of the use of pornography, which I’d like to get down lower through creating solid, pregnant sentences and consequences. These consequences are both tangible and intangible. They are:

  1. Pornography and adult entertainment have a cost . . . and it’s steep.
  2. Pornography causes a loss of fellowship with God, loss of fellowship and intimacy with your spouse, loss
  3. Pornography destroys your relationship with God. The Bible says that we cannot serve two masters: we will either love the one or hate the other. God commands us to be perfect and holy. Furthermore, using pornography does not lead a person to living with their wife in an understanding way which ultimately will hinder your relationship with God. Instead of depending on God in faith, the person pops the pills of pornography.
  4. Pornography grieves the heart of God. Pornography leads to lust and lust is sin . . . and sin grieves the heart of God.
  5. Pornography destroys your relationship with your wife (or those you love). While many people believe that pornography enhances their sexual life or keeps them sexually “pure” or “faithful,” this is far from the truth. Instead pornography devalues sex, degrades a man’s sexual performance (requiring aids to help him achieve climax), and escalates into something more than simple, exciting sex. Dr. Carnes reports that married women (or women who feel secure in their relationship) are more likely to climax/orgasm and more often. However, this is not true of married women who have husbands who struggle with pornography (because of the lack of security).
  6. Pornography destroys a wife’s self-esteem. When your wife finds out that you are involved in pornography, you’re telling her that you prefer someone else and that she does not quite measure up.
  7. Pornography never satisfies and always leaves you wanting more. We need to invest our energy in our God-given relationships, not the relationships built on deception.
  8. Pornography devalues sex. Sexual release through pornography separates us from our spouse. Furthermore, sex becomes more about my personal gratification than about my valuing my spouse and being intimate with them. It is as though we are using our spouse to masturbate.
  9. Pornography exchanges pure sexual desire for dysfunctional, perverted desire. There is a confusion of pure intimacy with false intimacy. There is a confusion of reality and fantasy. Thus, there is the confusion of pure sexuality with perverted sexuality. One porn addict said it best, “Every time I look at a woman I think she wants to have sex with me.”
  10. Pornography destroys your mind. More and more studies are showing that pornography alters the brain resulting in an involuntary, but lasting, biochemical memory trail. Furthermore, one becomes pre-occupied with pornography and sex that everything becomes about pornography and sex. Addicts begin to work and think on things quickly, half-heartedly so they can return to thinking about pornography and sex, their fantasy world.
  11. Pornography wastes your energy. Sex is exhausting already and so is masturbation. So it is with pornography. The porn addict has to seek out the porn, use porn, and then cover his tracks. Then any time the addict is not using, he is planning, thinking, and deliberating on the next time while at the same time constantly looking over his shoulder to see if he got caught. It can be mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting!
  12. Pornography causes you to lose sleep. When we partake in pornography, many times we lose sleep. How many of us have gotten out of bed late at night for whatever reason just to turn the PC on (even if for honorable reasons) and then sit for hours on end clicking away through various pornography sites? Some of us, may only click briefly and because of our guilty conscience we slip back into bed only to lie there with our mind racing. How many of us have lied in bed thinking about the days events either being disgusted, or angry, or even feeling hatred toward ourselves or feeling shame, guilt and even desparation, feeling like there is no hope? We lie there trying to go to sleep, but we can’t. Instead we find ourselves charged with a slew of emotional energy (or rather chaos).
  13. Pornography wastes time. Anyone who dabbles in pornography will tell you that one of the consequences is that they “don’t know where the time goes.” Dr. Carnes in The Shadows of the Net, mentions that addicts enter a online trance where hours can pass by without notice. So what feels like 10-15 minutes was actually 3-4 hours. Medically, addicts are filled with adrenalin and dopamine and serotonin so much so that we don’t notice the passage of time. So for an addict, they can easily spend entire days looking at pornography without realizing where the day went.
  14. Pornography distorts reality. Men who battle with pornography are not engaged in a world of reality. Almost all pornographic material is brushed or doctored and staged. It has nothing to do with love and everything to do with lust (and primarily the lust of the man, not the woman), which grieves the heart of God. Furthermore, the images and videos often lead men to believe that the woman is always “this beautiful, even in the morning;” “she has it all together;” “she is smart;” “she is always excited and ready to go;” or “if she’ll do that she’ll probably do anything for me, the man who loves her.”
  15. Pornography creates isolation. There is a loss of friends, family, and co-workers (as with any addiction). The Christian feels alone while engaging in pornography – we pull away from our family and away from God – and we’re all alone. The reason for this is that while society embraces pornography the church does not. For non-Christians, pornography still creates isolation because the addict would prefer to be alone, by himself viewing porn than with people cultivating healthy relationships. Furthermore, using pornography also forces your wife into isolation.
  16. Pornography causes the loss of the ability to relate. Dr. Carnes in In the Shadows of the Net talks about how porn addicts lose the ability to discern relational boundaries. Instead of knowing the natural progression of a relationship (courtship to dating to marriage), the person has a false sense of reality and frequently crosses over lines prematurely.
  17. Pornography facilitates child molestation. Pornography, it seems, is instruction material for child molesters. However, porn use doesn’t necessarily demand that one will become a child molester but the relationship does indicate a tendency towards an inclination of such.
  18. Pornography is expensive. The Internet eventually leads to the use of your credit card . . . and the more it costs, the greater the chance you’ll be found out. Why do websites offer “free porn”? To get us hooked and to come back for more. They know that eventually what they offer for free isn’t enough due to the escalating nature of porn and porn addiction.
  19. Pornography shapes one’s attitudes. It shapes how we view women and certainly how we view sin. Pornographic users often lack patience and self-control, especially in regards to anger.
  20. Pornography objectifies women. There is a complete loss of proper respect towards the opposite sex. While this is an attitude that pornography shapes, it is immensely important and deserves its own comment. Personally, I never thought that this was true of me since I have a high view of women. However, I too saw the women in the pictures as a means to an end thus objectifying them. Again the porn addict said it best, “Every time I look at a woman I think she wants to have sex with me.”
  21. Pornography shapes one’s behaviors. Just as it shapes our view of women and sin, it can influence people in a negative fashion.
  22. Pornography destroys one’s character and morality. Character is “what you do when no one is looking.” The power of pornography is its deception and secrecy. So in anonymity men and women often succumb to the power of pornography. And as time goes on, one’s morality is seared by the indecency of pornography. What used to be disgusting is now all right?
  23. Pornography steals one’s personal respect & confidence (resulting in guilt, shame, & depression).
  24. Pornography always leads to increased stimuli (or escalation). Pornography proves the law of diminishing returns. The user grows less sensitive to the same level of stimuli over time and thus we require ever increasing stimuli to get the same response. There is growing numbness to the stimuli over time.
  25. Pornography leads to a double life or hypocrisy. As Christians, we affirm purity and holiness, but a person using pornography does not practice what he or she preaches.
  26. Pornography feeds organized crime. You may know nothing of organized crime but revenue from the sale and distribution of pornography is very high.
  27. Pornography kills careers. Men are getting caught in corporate America and losing their jobs.
  28. Pornography destroys dreams. One wrong choice along a string of wrong choices will eventually result in consequences that can ruin one’s dreams whether it is excommunication, jail time, or losing one’s job, family, and/or wife. Eventually, pornography will destroy everything about a person.
  29. Pornography can be passed to the next generation – planting seeds for something that could be a lifelong struggle. Picture yourself in a relay race with your son. As he takes off running with his hand outstretched to you . . . if you hand him a legacy of lust, then you have indeed made an impact in the next generation.
  30. Pornography destroys one’s testimony (and even hurts the reputation of God?). You have no greater privilege than to be seen as a follower of Jesus Christ.
  31. Pornography destroys women in the sex industry. Unfortunately, many of these women as adults are now re-enacting their childhood trauma by working in the sex industry. For the non-believer, this may not be a problem. Many men don’t care about the women anyway. For the Christian man, however, this ought to stop you cold. Another life is being destroyed, just so your lust can be fulfilled.
  32. Pornography stunts the emotional and relational growth of a person. Just as coffee stunts the growth of a person physically (supposedly), pornography stunts the growth of the person as a person. Instead of developing coping strategies, the person uses pornography. As time continues, the person’s relationships will wane because he will become undependable and untrustworthy (since he lives and embodies a lie).
  33. Pornography causes a loss of personal responsibility or culpability. Many addicts begin to feel a self-righteousness or adopt an attitude of entitlement. There is no concern about the consequences to oneself, one’s family, or anyone else for that matter. Therefore, they see no need to take personal responsibility for anything often shifting blame on others.
  34. Pornography eventually gives Satan a stronghold in your life. Pornography is the portal for demonic influence in the life of a believer. Not only will pornography place yourself under demonic influence, it will place your family under its influence. Does your family (esp. your wife) ever complain of bad dreams?
  35. Pornography almost always leads to addiction. Maybe pornography is not addictive, but masturbation which accompanies it can cause one to be chemically dependent upon the “high” that a climax produces reinforcing the bad habit of using pornography.
  36. Pornography traps a person in shame and guilt. Because of the nature of pornography, the shame and guilt a person feels will possibly result in depression. While pornography may relieve these feelings for a moment, it never absolves the problem(s).
  37. Pornography does not care about you. Pornography is not discerning. It will take whomever whenever. It will destroy all without any second (or even first) thought about it.

CONCLUSION
Your choices are clear – disclosure or deception. One choice leads to redemption while the other leads to continued bondage and pain. Do you still honestly believe that you can keep your sin a secret? One day your sins will find you out. Then it will be too late to count the cost. Payment will be due.