The other day, my mentor said something that I have forgotten. He asked me, “Do you want to live for Jesus?” Dumbfounded by the simplicity of this question, yet knowing that he had a point that he wanted to make. I gave him the cookie cutter answer. And he then blasted me saying, “No you don’t! Well, right now you don’t.” He then later asked me, “Do you want to quit?” Again pausing because I knew there was a sucker punch waiting for me on the other side of this answer, I said, “Yes, of course.” He then blasted me again saying, “No you don’t! Well, right now you don’t.”
Ouch! Then he reminded me of something that is extremely important in the Christian life, and that is what has become for me the unknown choice. It is that choice that I make every day, every morning when I wake up (whether that is when I sit up or when I’ve had my morning “coffee” is another discussion). However, do I make this choice every day? Yes. Do I consciously? No. Or do I? And the choice is this: Do I want to live for God today and do His will or do I want to live for Myself?
As much as it pains me to say, this question is too difficult to make for the entire day. Instead, right now, because I am so weak, it is a decision I must make every 10 minutes, 20 minutes, or sometimes 1 minute. This requires a constant focus on God all day, not on myself. Andrew Murray and a man named Brother Lawrence wrote great pieces of work on Practicing the Presence of God, something I don’t do. While I cannot remember which one did this, (though I believe it was Brother Lawrence) one of them tried to concentrate on God’s presence all day timing himself and stopping whenever he “forgot” about His presence. When I was in college, I did this and never once got past 10 minutes. It is much more difficult than you think; however, now I don’t believe I could do 1 minute. So as they say in many recovery groups, it truly is one moment at a time (though for some reason, that statement just chaps me).
