Pornography’s power lies within secrecy. It’s even worse in Christian circles because the modern day leper is the Christian who struggles with pornography. It’s the pink elephant in the sanctuary that no one sees. It’s the core issue facing the church right now just as alcoholism was back in the 70s and 80s.
I can remember to this day reading the Bible when I was a fairly new believer. There is a verse where Jesus is speaking, and he says, “For there is nothing concealed that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known” (Matthew 10:26, cf. Luke 12:2). I truly believe that I would be the exception to this rule. There was no way that God would declare on the rooftops what I’ve done, and I would do anything to protect my secret: lie, cheat and steal. I would dwell on what I would do if someone found out to make it acceptable or excusable. I would play conversations in my head again and again.
I would also think about how people would react if they truly discovered my secret. It was horrific and terrible. So I made sure that this would never happen. However, in reality, there are no secrets. Someone knows even when we think no one knows. People around us know whether explicitly or implicitly that something is off; something is wrong. While they may not be able to put their finger on it or say what it is outright, they know. Our spouses know. In Every Heart Restored, they talked about our wives’ dreams, dreaming of us porn addicts having affairs or something worse. They may know this way or just know or suspect in their hearts. They may even know and have seen the evidence but just ignore it hoping that it will fix itself or not knowing what to do.
However, secrecy is what gives the sin its power. Instead I need to learn real transparency, real authenticity and accept my true self. I need to show my weakness and depend on the others in my SA group, my CR group and my therapy group. This is extremely difficult! I still have yet to allow myself to do this.
