Marcus Aurelius summarizes quite well the two necessary ingredients (or rules as he calls them) for recovery from pornography addiction. In reality, they are rules for life. Marcus Aurolius, the great Roman emporer of the 2nd century CE, once said, “The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are.” This is so true for without the first rule, the second rule becomes next to impossible. These rules can be summarized by two words: Serenity and Reality.
SERENITY. “The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.” The more we are at peace with ourselves the better we can face ourselves, others and the world. However, I am so far beyond having an untroubled spirit. I am failing at dealing with my flesh, my desires, and my wants. Personally, I believe that this is only possible through Jesus Christ, for with Jesus we have peace with God (Rom 5:1) and thus peace with ourselves as we abide in Jesus. Instead what I have is a preoccupied brain, an emotional bank that is both empty and overloaded at the same time, a stubborn will, and an attention span of a 2 year old….SQUIRREL! I have a long way to go to an untroubled spirit; however, I may be closer than I think (kind of like a mirror).
Reinhold Niebuhr wrote the infamous prayer called “The Serenity Prayer,” and it serves as a great roadmap to serenity. Every time I really think about this prayer I can get something:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as a pathway to peace; taking as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next. AMEN.
REALITY. Once we have maintained peace with ourselves. First because we have an untrobled spirit we can face people, things, and issues in our life without having to resort “to the bottle” or to our drug of choice. Furthermore, instead of becoming blind (as the saying goes, “Pornography makes you blind.”), we can see things as they are, and we can respond appropriately. FOr example, in my life, my wife could come to me with a need and I explode thinking that she is blaming me for this, that, and the other, when in reality all she was doing was asking me for my help. And instead of being that support she needed, I minimize her need, her emotions, and push her aside declaring my needs and demanding that instead she meet them (this just happened today!). However, if I had an untroubled spirit I would be able to see her and not feel threatened.
