Ten Things to Do When Your Spouse is Unfaithful

Harry Schaumburg writes in his new book, Undefiled: Redemption From Sexual Sin, Restoration For Broken Relationships, he has an appendix titled, “Ten Things to Do When Your Spouse Is Unfaithful.” I read these ten things over and over again. They are purely Christian in nature and contrary to worldly thinking and reaction to someone caught in porn addiction. A spouse who is caught in the trap of being in a relationship with a sex/porn addict and who does these things will stand apart. These ten things are not easy and are extremely difficult. These things are only for the serious Christian spouse who is committed to Jesus Christ. And the great thing about these things is that you are not alone as Jesus promises to be with us always (Mt 28:20).

He writes:

1. Don’t engage in wishful thinking; expect evil (1 Peter 4:12).
2. Don’t turn and run; endure evil (1 Cor 13:7).
3. Let your heart lead; let love be genuine and hate evil (Rom 12:9).
4. Pray and desire to be delivered from evil (Matt 6:13).
5. Don’t seek revenge. Look for ways to feed your enemy (Rom 12:19-20).
6. Don’t hide the sexual sin, expose it (Eph 5:11).
7. Work to restore your marriage (Gal 6:1).
8. Respond with a purpose: Look for ways to do good (Rom 12:21).
9. If you are a husband, love your wife and give yourself up for her for a godly purpose (Eph 5:25-26).
10. If you are a wife, turn your disobedient husband to the Lord without a word through respectful and pure conduct (1 Peter 3:1-2).

Note: I am not a spouse but am the addict. I do not write this post for my wife (for she already does many, if not all, of these things) or any other spouse that I may know. However, I believe this is a succinctly written statement and a great guide for all of us regardless of whether we are faithful or not.