For addicts, it’s an emotional disequilibrium. For many like me, we say one thing but believe another thing. In essence, we are believers living in disbelief. I am currently reading a book called, Sidetracked in the Wilderness by Michael Wells, Director of Abiding Life Ministries. He created a quiz to test one’s emotional concept of God. I am working through these questions myself, slower than I would like. He writes, “The test is not to be answered on the basis of what you know, but by how you feel at your worst moments. It is a depressing thought, but what you are at your worst moment is your true condition.” So what do you think about being with God? What do you feel? If you are anything like me, then these answers will be different. If you are theologically trained or raised in the church, you may be tempted to throw out the theological or biblical answer, but don’t. We don’t fool anyone but ourselves. So for some the chasm may be greater than others. Here’s the quiz:
- When I think about being with God, I feel… My Answer
- When I have to trust God, I feel… My Answer
- When I think about God, I wish… My Answer
- Sometimes I get angry with God when… My Answer
- It frustrates me when God wants me to… My Answer
- I really enjoy God when… My Answer
- The one thing I would change about myself to please God is…
- When I think about God’s commands, I feel…
- Sometimes I wish God would…
- I can really depend on God when…
- In my relationship with God, I’m always sure that He will…
- The one thing that frightens me most about God is…God surprises me when…
- One thing I’m afraid God will do is…
- And if I may add one question: I receive the love of God by…
Write these out and spend time journaling through these. Some may fly through these rather quickly while others, like me, may need to take some time to get through these.